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		<title>The beginnings of a plan &lt;https://y.st./en/weblog/2017/07-July/01.xhtml&gt;</title>
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			<h1>The beginnings of a plan</h1>
			<p>Day 00847: Saturday, 2017 July 01</p>
		</header>
<section id="general">
	<h2>General news</h2>
	<p>
		Just a passing thought: this morning, I could see my pulse in a patch of skin on the inner side of each of my feet, near the heel.
		That was strange to watch.
	</p>
	<p>
		Chase finally responded to my message, and told me once more I need to bring them documentation of my name change.
		I told them, once more, that I <strong>*already did*</strong>, and asked again how I get them to change the name on my account.
		Again, there&apos;s going to be a wait before they get back to me.
	</p>
	<p>
		This stupid loneliness is making it very difficult to focus on my studies.
		It&apos;s ironic, too.
		I can&apos;t even <strong>*begin*</strong> to man-hunt until certain prerequisites are met.
		First and foremost, I need to be caught up in the very studies I&apos;m distracted from.
		Second, I need to finish cleaning up my apartment so I can even have people over.
		I&apos;ve hatched a plan though that I hope will help.
		I&apos;m going to cancel auto-renew on my tablet plan.
		When the plan expires, I&apos;ll downgrade to a full smartphone plan.
		I hate telephone service, but it&apos;s commonly-used and potential dates might rule me out if I&apos;m not reachable via telephone.
		Once I have telephone service, which will likely come with a new number, I&apos;ll get some business cards ordered.
		I&apos;ll get at least my name, email address, and telephone number put on them, though I&apos;ll likely also include a reference to my contact page and my <abbr title="Extensible Messaging and Presence Protocol">XMPP</abbr> address.
		If all of this is done by <a href="https://www.proudout.com/po-event/2017-eugene-springfield-pride-day-festival/">2017-08-12</a>, I can take them to the local Pride Day festival and give them to anyone that wants to exchange contact info.
		Most people I exchange with likely won&apos;t want to hook up romantically, but having more friends would be nice too.
		Although, I&apos;m unsure of the logistics of this plan.
		Would <strong>*anyone*</strong> want to exchange contact info with me after just meeting me?
		In any case, I&apos;m hoping that simply <strong>*having*</strong> this plan will help me focus on my coursework and cleaning.
		It might be enough to tell my brain it needs to stop pestering me about lack of a partner, &apos;cause I&apos;m doing my best and my brain&apos;s pestering is only slowing me down.
	</p>
	<p>
		My <a href="/a/canary.txt">canary</a> still sings the tune of freedom and transparency.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="mental">
	<h2>Mental health watch</h2>
	<p>
		I did some reading, and as I should&apos;ve known, sexuality is a spectrum.
		I learned some new terms, and I now think I&apos;m either bisexual with a gay leaning or I&apos;m mostly gay.
		The simple fact is I&apos;ve had attraction to both sexes, and it&apos;s only when I think about genitals that I lose interest in all women.
		As I don&apos;t want a woman as a partner, the &quot;bisexual with a gay leaning&quot; label seems counterproductive for me.
		In addition to the fear of accidental baby-creation, I fear a woman would want to pigeonhole me into a more-traditional masculine role.
		I&apos;m not masculine and I&apos;m not dominant.
		I don&apos;t want to pretend to be, either.
		Instead, I&apos;ll go with &quot;mostly gay&quot;, though I&apos;ll call myself gay to other people.
	</p>
	<p>
		I think gender expression may figure into my attraction as well.
		Let&apos;s assume for a bit that everyone had the same genitals and no one could ever get pregnant.
		In theory, this should remove my aversion to relationships with women, right?
		However, I think makeup looks stupid, and I always have.
		I also feel it masks who you really are, like you don&apos;t think you&apos;re good enough in your natural state.
		I have <strong>*always*</strong> thought this, even before my stupid sexuality kicked in.
		I&apos;m coming to understand that gender expression is a strange thing that I&apos;ll never understand, seeing as I&apos;m agendered and have never had an aversion to seeming either masculine nor feminine, as long as I didn&apos;t think I&apos;ll be judged for it.
		It&apos;s likely most women are perfectly happy with who they are and their makeup isn&apos;t a form of self-deprecation as I&apos;d previously thought.
		However ... I want to be able to see my partner&apos;s face most of the time.
		Their <strong>*real*</strong> face.
		Someone that conceals their face behind coloured goop and powder isn&apos;t right for me.
		I thought my aversion to an opposite-sex pairing was strictly because of trust issues, fertility, and inability to rub my prostate.
		However, a lot of trust goes into any relationship.
		If I can&apos;t trust my partner to do the right thing and get an abortion if needed, they&apos;re not the right partner for me.
		I shouldn&apos;t rule people out simply because we&apos;d be biologically-fertile together.
		As for the prostate thing, there&apos;s always strap-ons and pegging.
		The make-up though ... and the traditional gender roles ...
		The only way I can be compatible with a woman relationship-wise is if she prefers to show her true face and isn&apos;t the type to be sexist about which partner holds which roles in a relationship.
		Having a female partner also means we could never have unprotected sex.
		I have no idea if we&apos;d even <strong>*want*</strong> unprotected sex once we&apos;ve gotten married and all, but this does limit our options.
		Again, it seems I can be bisexual in theory, but less so in practice.
		Identifying as straight-up gay will be more useful in finding a partner.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="university">
	<h2>University life</h2>
	<p>
		I wrote up my initial discussion post for the week:
	</p>
	<blockquote>
		<p>
			I think in many ways, the reading material this week confuses the concept of an abstract data type and a class interface.
			An abstract data type has no specific implementation, so it can be implemented in one of several ways.
			In the case of a queue or stack, you could for example represent the data type as an array, a object, or a linked list of objects.
			Each of these requires a different <abbr title="application programming interface">API</abbr> be used to interact with the queue or stack.
			This has no effect on modularity.
		</p>
		<p>
			In the examples in the book though, something very similar to a class interface is implemented.
			Specific method signatures are chosen, as well as a specific class name.
			From there, the class can be implemented in one of several ways.
			If a new implementation is desired, the entire class can be removed from the program and replaced with another class of the same name, as long as the public method signatures are the same.
			This is exactly like a class interface with one exception: multiple implementations could be present simultaneously if an actual class interface were used.
		</p>
		<p>
			The implementation of an abstract data type <strong>*does not*</strong> promote modularity in any way.
			Rather, it&apos;s the <strong>*wrapper class*</strong> of the implementation that promotes modularity.
			By using a wrapper class, you prevent the code that depends on the abstract data type from actually needing to know how it&apos;s implemented.
			Especially if this is done using interfaces, the implementation can be defined as a separate module.
			As is the strength of modules, the module can be reused in other programs or swapped for a different implementation.
		</p>
	</blockquote>
</section>
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